Realization

So, I came to a realization late last night/early this morning... I am my own worst enemy. Well, I knew that I along time ago, but I realized something else about it. Because of the personality I have and the way my mind thinks, I am always going to perceive things differently than most other people. I can use that to my advantage or I can let it hinder me and make things difficult. So, I've decided that I'm not going to let it be a disadvantage, but an advantage. I can't change the way my mind works or processes things, but I can change what I do with my thoughts. I've given myself a challenge, and it probably won't make a difference to anyone else, but I'll know the challenge and I'll know if I'm passing or not. Because I've decided there are some things that I can't change, but I can still decide how I'm going to react to the thing/problem. I can't change that I suffer from severe depression and that I have to be on medication to keep from doing and thinking things that I shouldn't. But I can choose to accept that this is just one of the trials I have to face and I need to do my best to overcome the trial. I've come a long way since I first found out that I had severe depression and I've made a lot of changes in my life to combat it. There are days that I do better than others, but my new challenge for myself is to be okay with the fact that this is something I have and I'm not going to let it control my life. I stopped letting it a long time ago, but I've resolved not to revert occasionally back to it either. It never fixes anything and I always end up hurting myself and those that I love the most.
With the help of my Savior, I've learned that He will always be there to help me if I stop being so stubborn and ask for His help. He's waiting to help me, but I have to be humble and ask first. I also have a wonderful family that loves me for who I am and don't think of me any different because of the challenges I have. I have friends who forgive me when I make mistakes and love me in spite of my stupidity. I can live and be who I want to be. Only I choose who and am and how I feel about myself. And I'm going to choose to be who I want to be and live life one day at a time and try my best. That's all anyone asks of me and I need to remember that. My head may think that they are expecting something else, but I need to remember that it's all in my head and the people who love me just want me to try my best and that's enough for them. And that's good enough for me to want to keep going and trying.