Fall Break!

Today was the beginning of fall break. It is the first fall break since I started college that I haven't had homework to get done. Can you say - YAY!!! But then I go and give myself homework ... sort of. I decided to do some photo shoots over the break, but I wouldn't call that homework. It's what I do!! Photography is what I love! Hence, I have no problem taking pictures over the entire fall break!

Realization

So, I came to a realization late last night/early this morning... I am my own worst enemy. Well, I knew that I along time ago, but I realized something else about it. Because of the personality I have and the way my mind thinks, I am always going to perceive things differently than most other people. I can use that to my advantage or I can let it hinder me and make things difficult. So, I've decided that I'm not going to let it be a disadvantage, but an advantage. I can't change the way my mind works or processes things, but I can change what I do with my thoughts. I've given myself a challenge, and it probably won't make a difference to anyone else, but I'll know the challenge and I'll know if I'm passing or not. Because I've decided there are some things that I can't change, but I can still decide how I'm going to react to the thing/problem. I can't change that I suffer from severe depression and that I have to be on medication to keep from doing and thinking things that I shouldn't. But I can choose to accept that this is just one of the trials I have to face and I need to do my best to overcome the trial. I've come a long way since I first found out that I had severe depression and I've made a lot of changes in my life to combat it. There are days that I do better than others, but my new challenge for myself is to be okay with the fact that this is something I have and I'm not going to let it control my life. I stopped letting it a long time ago, but I've resolved not to revert occasionally back to it either. It never fixes anything and I always end up hurting myself and those that I love the most.
With the help of my Savior, I've learned that He will always be there to help me if I stop being so stubborn and ask for His help. He's waiting to help me, but I have to be humble and ask first. I also have a wonderful family that loves me for who I am and don't think of me any different because of the challenges I have. I have friends who forgive me when I make mistakes and love me in spite of my stupidity. I can live and be who I want to be. Only I choose who and am and how I feel about myself. And I'm going to choose to be who I want to be and live life one day at a time and try my best. That's all anyone asks of me and I need to remember that. My head may think that they are expecting something else, but I need to remember that it's all in my head and the people who love me just want me to try my best and that's enough for them. And that's good enough for me to want to keep going and trying.

Another day as a college student...

At the request of my brother (yes, Andrew, you) I'm going to update my blog. I've been horrible at keeping this up to date.

So I'm in the middle of another semester... And as much as I'd like to say everything is going great and everything is fun... I'd be lying. So far this semester has been filled with some really awesome experiences and some not so nice ones. Hey, isn't that what life is?!?!
You go through life and you plan things. You think, if I do this, then this (hopefully) will be the outcome. Well, not when it comes to my life... I plan and plan and everything goes 180 and is completely different than what I had hoped for. I've had disappointments that were my fault and then some where out of my control, but either way, it's disappointment and that is never easy.
However, without opposition, growth can't happen. Even though the last couple of months have been hard, I have grown and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try to do my best each day and try to rely on my Savior for guidance and help.

On the other side, I've had so much fun with new friends and being in my photography classes! Since I met Mavanie and started going down to the Singles Branch in Nephi I've met a ton of new people and made more friends in a couple months than I have in several years. Thanks to Mav, I've been able to step outside of my comfort zone and socialize more. I had so much fun this summer and did some new things that I didn't think I'd ever get the opportunity to do.
Now that school has started, I've moved over to Orem and I'm living with Mavanie and Candace. It's been so much fun!! Being an 'official' roommate with Mavanie has been awesome! But being her friend is even better. It's nice to just get to sit and talk with Mav and not worry about everything that's weighing on my mind. Mav always knows what to say to help lift my spirits and help me take the next day a step at a time. I just need to remember not to take my frustrations out on her because I'm living with her and she's right there... She deserves better and I should do better. Mavanie is the friend I've always wanted and needed. She has helped me in more ways than I can say and I've grown so much since I've had her there to help me. Just knowing that I have a best friend that is looking out for me, has helped me expand and try harder. And even with all the hard days and the days where things don't go as planned, the good times I have with family and friends makes each day worth it.
Say hello to life and what it brings! One day at a time and one bump at a time. I'll get over each one of them if I just keep trying and working hard. That is one thing I know how to do ... work hard.

New York City!!

The crowd going to the St Patrick's Day parade. We gave up trying to see the parade... We could hear it though!

This is where our bus dropped us off when we went to go see a photographer at his studio. It was out in the middle of no where!! I didn't even know New York had a place that looked like this. If you don't think it was crazy, I'm telling you!

Kelli and myself with the Blue M&M. :)

One of the entrances to the Museum of Modern Art

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

View of the Statue of Liberty from the ferry

Construction going on at Ground Zero

Empire State Building on St. Patrick's Day

Me with this beautiful Lady

View of the coast from Liberty Island

View of the city from the top of the Empire State Building

Times Square at night

Times Square during the day :)

I went and saw the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway and all I can say is AMAZING!!!!

This is what all the bars and pubs looked like on St Patrick's Day.

Central Park

New York

So I just realized that I haven't posted pictures from my New York trip yet. My bad... Pictures to come soon. Promise!

Teaching...

So, I've taught Primary since the day I graduated High School. Yep, five long years; save the six months that I lived in Provo, for which I was the ward pianist. When I started going to the Singles Branch down in Nephi, I naturally figured that they wouldn't give me a calling since I lived in Payson and just commuted to church each Sunday. After a lovely adventure of getting my records transferred down to the branch I was told my the Branch President, Pres. Bateman, that they had TWO callings in mind for me and that they would let me know which one they decided was right for me.

In the mean time, I've been the ward pianist again, without being called, because the girl that was playing moved and I was asked to 'fill in'. I'm still playing without being officially called. But it's not too bad and it gives me an excuse to practice a little bit more.

Now, to the point of the story. On Mother's Day I was asked to substitute in Relief Society. I'd never taught anything other than Primary so you can imagine that I was super nervous to say the least. I made sure that I was way over prepared and when it was all said and done, I felt like I did an okay job. The sisters in the Relief Society said that I did, so I'll take their word for it. Once class was over, President Bateman came up to me and asked to see me in his office. I, of course, already knew that he was going to issue me a call, but as I walked into his room, I silently prayed to myself that it wouldn't be a teaching position. I figured that my calling was going to be ward pianist since that was what I'd been doing for two months.
So we sat down in his office and President Bateman turned to me and said that they wanted to call me as a Relief Society instructor!!! Horror!! I just knew it! I'm going to be known as the worst relief society teacher ever! So after I sat there for a minute and thought it through, I of course agreed to accept the calling. I couldn't tell President Bateman no even if I wanted to...

Now, even after five years of teaching Primary, it obviously hasn't become apparent that I'm just not a teacher... But then if you listen to Mavanie, I must be a good teacher if that's what I keep getting called to do. I don't know if I agree with her or not, but I'm certainly going to try and do my best.

Now I just need to get over my bad case of nerves when I have to talk in front of people...

More of Connor!

Playing with Dad and his balloon.

He had to touch. :)

That was good frosting!

Sitting with Mom and my Newsies hat.

Spring Semester

This semester has been cram packed with things. Going to school full time is a blast and I'm loving every minute of. A lot of things have been changing in my life and I've had to make a few decisions about things.
I'm loving all of my photography classes and I'm learning tons. I've even purchased myself a new digital camera to accommodate the new skills and techniques that I've been learning. My two art history classes are pretty intense, but my professor is AMAZING and I get to be her TA, which worked out since I quit my other job so I could go to school full time. Sculpture class is kind of kicking my butt, and I know for sure that I'm not a sculptor... but I'm broadening my horizons so that is good.
I've also made some new friends this semester! One in particular has had a definite impact on my life. Mavanie is an amazing person and I haven't met anyone quite like her. She is always so happy and always makes my day. She is also a fellow photographer so we have that in common among many other things. Mav has helped me get out and socialize more and meet more people. I've become friends with her roommates too which makes hanging out at her apartment a lot of fun. She's also convinced me to leave me home ward and attend a singles branch down in Nephi with her. I've only gone once so far, but it was really nice and I was ready for a change. Teaching Primary for five years will wear on any single person. Not that I didn't love my Primary kids.
I also have the opportunity to go to New York with the Art department at school. We are going for the whole week of Spring Break. I am so excited! I've never been to New York and I've always wanted to go. We get to go to several of the major museums and visit several local artists. Then we get a day where we just get to go play. Expect MASSIVE amounts of pictures to come!!! I don't really know any of the other students that are going, but I'm not going to let that hinder me having a great time. Courtney (my art history professor) is going as one of the professors, so that will make it a lot of fun too. She'll be able to talk to us about all the art we're going to be looking at.
Anyway, life is good. I'm super busy all the time, but I'm loving it. I've also started submitting some of my photography to art shows and galleries. I'm even having one displayed starting on Monday in a cafe in Provo with some fellow students.
Say hello to spring time and sunshine ... hopefully. =)